Thursday, February 19, 2015

Man Down


As I lay here in the flower cemetery, aka, my bedroom, I'm both angry and grateful. Angry, because I despise being sick, I always feel robbed when I'm sick, and grateful that I'm a stay-at-home mom and can take sick days when I need them. I also feel all kinds of guilty as I'm sure all you mama's out there do when you are sick. I don't shuffle our kids off to school in the mornings which is both great and awful all at the same time. Great, because my daughters are old enough now to take care of business when I'm sick, and awful because if they were all off at school, I wouldn't feel so guilty that it's not business as usual. Guilt, ohhhhh how I hate it. 




I get migraines from time to time and it's not even the pain I hate so much as the meds. They totally turn me into a zombie, no lie, comatose I'm telling you, for days. 

So I lay here, staring at flowers long since dead, dreaming of regular days, craving vacuuming and laundry, that's crazy right?  I miss having my hands covered in flour in the kitchen and reading with the kids in the mornings. I sit in my bed and watch all these little people walk past my door and I feel so out of touch with the rhythm of my family. 





I'm well taken care of though, God bless daughters. Yesterday I awoke from a nap to find a clean house, laundry going and Sofia making chocolate chip muffins, from scratch no less.  Don't hate me. I also awoke to Matthew and his chicken in the living room eating biscuits. See, my kiddos have got this y'all, it's totally under control over here. 

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9 comments:

  1. Do feel better soon. Don't feel guilty. It's an excellent day to stay in bed! (This mom isn't moving around much today either.)
    Your children probably think it's fun and just might feel a little more grown up with Mommy in bed. Cheer up. (I prayed for you just now.)

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    1. Still a bit fuzzy, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! Thanks for your prayers!

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  2. Sending big ole hug and prayers your way..Hope you feel better real soon..Try to not feel guilty... sounds like your kiddos are taking charge and doing a great job. [which shows parents have done a great job too..yea]
    My kids [ a preacher and a teacher] are both grown and gone with kids of their own.. But still.. I feel guilty when I get sick.. Hate that role.ha.. Would much rather be up and about my daily chores..Thats the mama/woman in us.ha]

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    1. Thank you so much Judy! Today is soooo much better- I'm always so grateful to return to the regular. That I guess is the upside to not feeling well, I'm oh so grateful for even doing the laundry- ha!

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  3. Boy, you hit it on the head with this! I feel so sad when I'm sick and long to be able to do all the normal things.

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    1. This morning was so much better, I made brunch- whoa, a biggie! It felt so awesome to get back in the swing of things! Thanks for stopping by Kim!

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  4. I'm sorry to hear about your migraine and medication. You're so right though about the guilt. It's a funny little thung, huh. One minute you're ok, the next sick and you feel like a tremendous failure and so not a good mom.

    It really is a good thing your kiddos are old enough and have learned so much from you that they can handle themselves and other tasks alone. Way to go, Mama! :)

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    1. You made me feel so much better and you are so right, one minute we feel good and confident in our job and then sickness and BOOM, total failure. Today's been much better- thanks for the visit!

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  5. So sorry that you have been sick, I can relate to migraines. I have had them since I was little and they are no fun. You are so lucky to have great kids to help out. And it does make them feel good to help. You shouldn't feel bad, we all need help sometimes. I do know migraines can last for days and it takes a few days to get over one. Hope you feel much better SOON!!

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